Does anyone ever said to u: “why are you so immature?” “Why are you so selfish?” “Grow up will ya”. Well, define Maturity. According to Houghton Mifflin Dictionary, maturity means the state or quality of being fully grown or developed and the state or quality of being mature. Normally, different people do have different explanations for it. As for myself, I had to admit that I does not fully understand what it means. But what I do know is Maturity is totally not related to being a Homosexual.
I was born in a Buddhist family with 8 siblings. We converted to Christianity in the year 1999. The conversion has a great impact on my life. As I grow, as soon I reach the age of 7. I realise I am somehow different from others. I’m a little too soft as for a boy. I don’t enjoy sports but Arts like music and dancing. In school I had been mocked at, being laugh at. Even teacher in my primary school do so too. Eventually when I reach high school, then I realise there is in fact something is different about me. I realise I am bisexual. And I kept quiet about it.
After graduated from high school, I went for Pre-U. I met my first boyfriend there. We did a lot of wonderful yet sinful stuff ( I don’t need to mention). It lasted for one month then we broke up. But parents don’t even know about it. Until one day, all my so called “awful deeds” had being discovered. Yes, am wrong for doing things which I know is totally wrong. After that my parents know that I m not straight. Yeah, they did give me a long lecture, being threaten so far and so forth.
Until recently (few days ago) my dad mentions these kind of things again. He related homosexual to religion. Yes, I know that Christianity banned Homosexual. But what I can’t accept is he told me that Homosexual is related to Maturity. My reason for it is:
Homosexual is what you are made before u are before you are born. It’s a natural thing. We didn’t even choose to be “in-straight”. We are made this way by God and Christian always says that being “in-straight” is wrong. Well, think again?! Is it a little weird here? So should we or shouldn’t? And by the way, bible is written by God. Yes, I had to admit that. But the people that wrote them down with bear hands are all heterosexual. So how can they know how we felt? Owh, and get back to the point, maturity… my dad define that maturity starts when you know how to care about others, be considering about others. Yes, I had to admit that It is correct. But who m I doesn’t concern with am I straight or not. It doesn’t even make any sense. People can tell me to change anything, quit clubbing, quit smoking, quit skipping class and etc because it is in considering for my family and friends and which is by you mean am not matured. But u can’t stop me for being who I am. I am not straight. So let me be. That’s my interest and I cannot accept that it is a sin! And you told me that it is in considerate for others. People get married and have child is their issue. Not mine. Don’t compare. Why don’t you compare to millions of others who are “in-straight” rather than compared to the one who is married. You told me that it is called responsibility. Well. To me is his issue. He wants to get married and that’s his thing to bear. I don’t want to. I just want to be myself. U say it is irresponsible.. Sorry, I don’t think so. I am 20. Am not a child anymore. I tried changing myself like hell when I was young. And I fail at times. And now u told me I tried not hard enough. I know myself well. And I say I tried my very best. And it won’t work at all. People that gave advice on how to change from being ‘un-straight’ to straight is totally crap. Because it is a lie and no one can change you. You can’t change the fact that you’re not straight. It is who you are. So please let me be.
I wrote this is not being rude or what so ever. But just to let the world know that you’re not alone. There’s also homosexual out there who is facing prosecution like u do. Just be yourself and it gets better~